omfg omfg omfg.this week cant get any worse!ahh...omg kill me nw.f f f f f f f f this whole week.it sucks like crap!ahhh!

and my eyes hurt like f.
ahhhh.....
and _ _ _ _ _ _ t, _ _ _ _ _ _ i , and _ _ _ y are pissing me off!!
and why arent you and you ard..?i need you two so badly nw!esp the potential lesbian partner!WHERE ARE YOU!!?!im dying..i need to talk to you!omg!appear appear appear!omg..i beg you appear..!

and whats worse..guess what?kayi is leaving tmr morn..and i just found out..omg..i can kill myself nw..i swear..why is everyone leaving..omg..im dying..i swear..ahhh...why all this week!!?

omfg.other than gg out with weixing and shopping these past few days have been so f-ed up!argh!

forget it.im gna update to take my mind off things..

sunday.
work and then aft tt i went out with weixing to shop!!:)

monday.
off!so i went bugis again to get my stuff..went to the library to borrow books!(yeahh..i knw.you cnt imagine it..bt ive to improve my eng..so no choice..gahh..)then met weixing..and shopped mre..then cabbed to holland to settle very important stuff..that well is mostly the cause of my misery and if you want you cld say depression..then aft tt i met chor han..went with him to find his bag..then we ate sakae and starbucks and then i went hm..

tueday
work.went to holland again..he didnt appear.im dying.....and thanks to tt ive been crying since 6plus..even while walking even while waiting fr the damn bus even on the damn bus..even at the str.fuck.i feel so lost and useless.i feel so argh.i feel like killing myself.i feel like suddenly my whole world is crashing down.i feel like broken glass.i feel like the helpless insect stuck in the spider's web..i feel like an abandoned baby..i feel like a homeless and starving child..i feel like an animal that is being eaten alive by vultures..alive..but weak and vulnerable tt i cant do anything at all..i feelwhat i felt almost 4months ago..and almost 8 motnths ago..and like 1yr ago..ahh..bt i knw this is totally different..its so much more complicated..im having split feelings split decisions on what to do..like hw you have to make a choice..except tt you cant..cos you cant bring yourself to do either..like hw when i wanted to leave holland so badly..and wished the bus would just appear immediately and take me away..cos of all the things tt happened there..cos of tt fact tt he lives there and hence i would be reminded of him..and yet hw i wished the bus never appeared..like fr like forever..because i cldnt bring myself to leave holland until i saw him..cos its like wtf wht if smthng happened to him..and its like i have to stay there until he appears..tts the only way i can even get on with my life..and its like if i wasnt there when he appeared..he wld thnk i didnt keep my promise..and the thng is i am gg to and i will..ahh...omg save me someone..
omfg.i feel like doing what i used to do when i felt this helpless and f-ed up..bt i knw i cnt do it anymre..cos i think if i do i will drive ppl and even myself crazy..and i cant ____ and even _____ tt much cos i promised!ahh!


okayy..its nt tt bad nw..since weixing is making me feel much better by being oh so caring like usual..and chicken cutlet is making me laugh by being.......a chicken cutlet!bt im still down!and i wanna scream into someone's ear..preferably...someone i detest alot..!so he becomes deaf and hence will learn nt to piss me off...

so i swear ppl who usually piss me off better nt piss me off and those who i trust better nt let me down if nt i swear i'll turn ugly!!and scare the living shit out of you!!actually no i'll just give you a whole lot of f-ed up attitude..trust me you wont want tt cos it'll piss you off like shit!ahhh!!!this week cldnt get any wrse..i swear..im dreading each day..