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so maybe i rather not know.

and be kept in delusion.

that way it wont hurt me so much.

i made an amazing discovery today!which i told weixing..bt he doesnt quite agree with my analogy ..so FINE.like be tt way..lol..wwell i still think my analogy totally like makes sense.

hence, this i why imma stay where i am.and not do like what many others do and do it blindly.cos in actual fact.its nothing at all.its like maybe tt person is like just someone you click really well with and stuff.so blah blah blah..kinda thng ya'knw.

i want to shop!i just shopped!bt ive no mood!cos im tired and cranky!i want to hug teddy and sleep..iwanna go la-la land.i am now sitting nxt to weixing and he is being so weird.ahaha.*gives weixing the weird look*lol!this is so gayy.

i hate listening to REALIZE BY COLBIE!cos it always makes me reminicise the times at lavender.esp the times i went skyterrace.stayed up.watch miami ink.went wild.the arguments we had till morning.the bitcheeyyy things i did.cooking for us.receiving tasmania as a random gift.and the leaving in the morning..alone..and you left there..snuggled in those sheets..and all those memories just brings those tears to my eyes..and i wonder why things couldnt be like last time.if they were.i swear.i will do anything.i will.and you should know what i mean by that..dnt you.strike one.strike two.it all didnt worked out.crawling back.i ignored all and played bitch.bt somehow.for you.its different.you charmed me.you annoyed me.you pissed me.you made me fall in love with you.and sometimes i wonder if i just see you as someone i care so much for.like a brother.i dont knw.i really miss the times back then.when it was just the two of us.and how we didnt care what anyone said.and i dnt knw why.bt i cant do the same anymore.and im scared tt the fact is cos im starting to drift away.

i still remember how you surprised me with that bouquet.i still remember new year's eve so clearly.every single detail.right to dawn.and whatever else that happened after that.how you took the chances for me.bt something keeps holding us back.or maybe me back.i remember how you stopped me from doing the wrong things.when sometimes you yourself were doing it.i remember how you got so fed up you gave up and just let me do whatever i wanted.and tt was what i really wanted.i remember how you took care of me during the 3 long weeks i was sick.i remember it all.i remember how you were once pissed with me but you still came to look for me and stood up for me.and almost fought with them.and had to endure those sneering when i told you not to fight.i remember it all..bright and clear..even in the dewdrops on those leaves you see bright and early..even in the tears in my eyes..i can see it all..