so come on and fly with me as we make our great escape

sleepless nights
Wednesday, August 20, 2008 2:52 AM

sleepless nights

hello worldd

its 2.52am

its my like what fourth? time blogging todayyy..

i thought i was gg to sleep earlier on

but i havent

and now im in my emo wreck again.

sighs.

im too lazy to elaborate.

so i was bored.

anywayy the one that got me ultimate emo

in the last half an hr

was gg to matt's blog

just.

and looking at the wall-e entries thing

i didnt knw he like put snippets of ppl's stories

until when amanda told me ystd.

so i decided to go see

and wow.

im amazed at some of the things people do

esp some of those who i knw personally.

i mean like..

wow.

sometimes i feel i really never ever deserved any of them

i mean

i was such a bitch then

and stuffs

sigh.

fucking effing emo now.

need:

ENNA

AMANDA

MEDICINE.

:((

sadness kills

i wish i was chatting with someone in a worser state than me now

so when i console them

i can in a way console myself.

so finee.selfish bitch me.

have you ever had the feeling like

when your listening to this song

you think back about what it was like

when you listened to the song then

esp when you first heard it?

sigh.

major emoness kicks in..

heh.

i used to spend more than three-quartes of my day with you.

it felt as if i alr spent half my life with you

and it hurts me now

i havent been able to see you

for three months

and i remember the last time i heard your voice

i told you to cab over

and i would pay for it

i would see you no matter what

no matter how late it was

no matter how much shit i was gg to get from dad

i would getout of the house

to see you

you refused

you didnt want me to get into trouble

and then

the call just ended.

you had no coins left.

and i was left

devasted.

i wish..

there was something more that i could do

i wishh

things werent like this

and now.

i think its all gone

idk

but i sense that

youve moved on

and it hurts so bad

to feel that

its impossible

for me

to forget you

so easily

to let go as if

it never ever began.

31.12.07

the day it began

i got drunk

i guess you were too.

i kissed you

you paused.

then kissed me back.

we stayed up through the night

and talked

you told me

i'll go wherever you go

i want to be with you.

i want to spend my time with you.

remember how we tried to get back in?

climbing and all

7-eleven.

01.01.08

we watched the sunrise together.

we cabbed to holland

had breakfast together.

i went to work.

and you being your piggish you

went home to sleep

while i was working

you appeared.

i never thought you would

i assumed you to sleep the whole day

as much as i wished and hoped you appeared

i felt you wouldnt wake up till the next day

you knw how happy i was?

i felt like the happiest girl in the world

remember how

you would wait for me to end work

wait for me to spend my breaktimes with you

remember how once i punched out my card

i would run out

not caring

and run straight out to hug you

and ppl woudl be staring

rememeber how when i went back in to change

and comeout

you would complain that i took really long

just to change

remember those days

when i bought you macs

went to holland

to fetch you to go to school

i remember once

you decided not to go straight to school

even though you were slightly late

you spent it with me.

remember when we used to

go to the same places

get bored of it

but we didnt really care

cos we had each other

remember when

it was chinese new year's eve?

i ended work

and we went to ps

had kfc for dinner

and laughed at the weird ppl there

then went to lavender

watched teevo and spent time tgt

then you sent me back home

rememeber

valentines day?

14.02.08

i was pissed with you

and refused to see you

i was working.

met my girlfriends aft work for dinner.

you met me aft that

gave me the hello bag

and in it was filled with tiny hearts you folded

you sent me home

and i was having hissy fits

in the end

we were still finee

and i remember you

looking after me

when i was sick..

you came into the room

and checked on me

you fed me

you bought me my favourite childhood biscuits

those alphabets

and you fed me those

you stole them

haah.

cos you liked them too

but you kept some and placed them by the bed

on a tissue paper

with the words I LUV U

i remember they were nxt to the radio

remember when.

we bought ingredients together

and cooked tgt

or more like you did most of everything

cos i was too caught up with

teevo and my laptop

im sorry baby for that

remember how

we loved nutrisoy?

remember how you would alwayys

tell me to go gymming with you

and swimming too

and i complained abt how my hair would get dry?

and i wanted to watch teevo.

remember how we watched miami ink tgt

and wrestling

and whatever else

in the middle of the night?

remember how you helped me

dye my hair dark brown

remember how you got pissed with me then

cos i was chatting alot to guys

and how i didnt care

im sorry for that.

remember how

you got pissed with me

i was stuck in lavender

i sat by the road

thinking

i saw you with your dark green topshop hoodie

and guitar

i knew you were going to cab to town

i went to town too

i was going to meet chor han

you called me countless times

and i either cut them off or told you to fuck off

you saw mw with chor han

and followed us

you wouldnt leave

then you gave me the keys to the apt

and told me to go home

then you left.

i never went bk there.

i remember.

i left for a few hrs with chor han

i walked back to town

from newton

and i saw you

things were fine again

remember how you stayed out

and how i came in the morning

at like 6?

at bought you macs

and

there was once

you knew i was around

but tried to fake it

and i saw that sly smile of yours?

heh.

i remember it.

i remember

two dollar meal.mayo.milo.

i remember how you would eat

the 2 bucks chicken burger

with curry sauce

really icky-ly

and your fries with chilli and mayo

you eat like amonster

rah rah rah!

and staff canteen!

our favourite cheap food alternative!

i remember how

when i had no news of you

and always waited for your calls

while working

i would be quiet all of a sudden

and they would know why

esp kor and lan jie

and kor would be uber nice to me

and let me go on break

and do whatever i want

and when i ahd my breaks

i would off the lights

play the music on my phone or mp3

esp empty.

and just sit there and stone.

kor or lan jie would come in

and ask me whats wrong.

and once

i started crying in front of kor

and he got scared.

and i remb how

when aft tt

i got your calls

i would be jumping up and down

and be back to my normal self..

i remember you loving teriyaki chicken

and whenever you came to buy food

and eat inside

you would ask for lots of mayo

and everyone would be saying why you need so much mayo

and once abang jeff didnt wanna give you

until you finsihed all the mayo you had

and you did

in a few mins

haha

that was funny.

ooh.and ice milk tea

our fav.

i remember the bouquet of flowers you gave me

you came after school

in your black hoodie and gave them to me

everyone at work went WOW

and then when you sent me home

i said i dnt think i want this relationship anymore

it wouldnt work out and stuffs

and that i didnt believe you loved me

and you started crying

i am glad i gave you that chance

baby.

you didnt knw

and i never told you

but it kinda hurt when you cried in front of me.

then maybe just an incy wincy bit

but when i look back it hurts alot

and..remember tas?

i remember tas

you and your mysterious present!

im sorry

i wish i kept it

that huge thing

that cost more than hundred bucks

and you bought it for me

with the money you had

instead of spending it on yourself..

thanks babyy.

we do stoopid things for love

but i feel youve done more than me..

i hope

i still get the chance to do more for you

i still love you

and i missing you so much

the only reason

i try not to blog about you

is cos

i try to block out thoughts of you

cos whenever i think about you

i end up crying

and feeling so hurt.

its 340 now.

dad bugged me to sleep alr

but i guess he saw the tears on my face

and left me to be after three mins.

i think dad knows.

sigh

explaining to do later on why i cried.

grr.

and he will knw if i lie this time.

i have this sudden urge to go running.

Labels: joash.misses.still loving.

Twitter Updates